It’s not you, it’s me … and you!

Blog post by Haley Cobb & Shelly Rauvola – summarizing Cobb et al. (2024)

Blog edited by Keaton Fletcher

Have you ever been so stressed from work that you felt you couldn’t meet your personal life demands? Has that stress impacted how you feel in your relationship? And conversely – have you ever felt like your partner was so stressed at work that you felt dissatisfied in your relationship?

If so, you’re not alone. In work-family research, we often consider how the strain we experience when work and family responsibilities are incompatible impacts individuals. But we know that this kind of conflict can impact those around us, too. For example, maybe you’ve had a particularly hard day at work, and when your partner asks you to take out the trash or help with dinner when you return home, you snap and roll your eyes (hopefully followed by a heartfelt apology!). While we tend to think that stress and strain are individual experiences, the stress we experience can also impact others. Your partner probably wasn’t too happy when you snapped and rolled your eyes – maybe they also had a hard day at work and were looking forward to enjoying dinner with you in a clean house. In a recently published study, we (Cobb et al., 2024) decided to explore how stress impacts individuals and their romantic partners. Specifically, we wanted to know how the conflict between work and family experienced by both partners who work contributes to how happy they are in their romantic relationship.

What we found

To explore this question, we conducted a meta-analysis. A meta-analysis is a type of research study that allows us to statistically combine all prior research looking at a specific relationship to be able to say what we know “on average” across all those studies. We found 28 different studies that looked at the conflict between work and family, and marital satisfaction, in dual-income couples. Overall, we found that, as one might expect, one partner’s conflict between work and family impacts their personal marital satisfaction – and it impacts their partner’s marital satisfaction, as well. Interestingly, these results are pretty consistent across a variety of contexts but vary a bit based on some moderators that we tested. For example, there are some cultural factors that seem to influence the degree to which work-family conflict impacts couples’ marital satisfaction. These findings suggest that partners can influence each other’s well-being, and so can the social contexts in which those partners live and work.

What can individuals and organizations do?

An important part of doing research is translating findings into actionable recommendations for improving work and life for everyone. Based on our findings, you can first give yourself grace and hopefully feel empowered knowing that it’s understandable to experience conflict between work and family and to have that stress negatively impact yourself and your partner. Perhaps having this knowledge allows you and your partner to recognize how you’re impacting each other in both negative and positive ways, and enables you to be better equipped to deal with those challenges as they arise. There are many ways for people and organizations to reduce stress and strain, too, if not prevent negative outcomes altogether. People may look to their employer, family, or other social networks for support in reducing demands that might contribute to work and family conflict. This might look like using a flexible work schedule to be able to meet competing demands as they arise or setting healthy boundaries with work so that you can disconnect from work responsibilities and enjoy your time with your family. Organizations might offer accessible family-friendly policies that allow for on-site childcare and foster a culture that is supportive of workers who have family-related responsibilities. Whatever you do to improve your well-being, remember that it’s not just you, it’s you and your partner!

Source: https://doi.org/10.1007/s41542-024-00195-x

You can learn more about this paper on the Healthy Work Podcast, Episode 73: Work-Family Conflict and its Far Reaching Impacts.

Dr. Haley R. Cobb is currently an assistant professor of industrial-organizational psychology at Louisiana State University. Her research interests are in work-family, including boundary management, ideal worker norms, and inclusive workplaces and policies. Haley integrates OHP into her life by establishing work-nonwork boundaries and finding ways to detach from work. For example, outside of work, she insists on being active whenever possible, doing something creative, and spending time with family and friends.

Dr. Shelly S. Rauvola is currently an assistant professor and director of industrial-organizational psychology programs at DePaul University. Their research applies open, integrative, and meta-scientific principles to the study of work, motivation, identity, and health. Outside of work, they take as many road trips, photos, and naps as they can. Shelly protects their leisure and vacation from work interruptions and takes opportunities between meetings to walk and practice yoga.